Every time Edward wears one of his dresses to school, at least one classmate makes sure to advise him that “dresses are for girls.’ As these are 3 & 4 year-olds, it’s clear that the modern gender norms they’ve already integrated into their being are not their own, but beliefs they’ve taken on to be in line with the adults around them. Beliefs inextricably linked to religion, whiteness and anti- queer phobia👀
As we are forced to assume this gender dress code, the resplendent and, at first, boundless inner world that our children live in, quickly becomes smaller, more polarized and less joyous. We trade in and stunt a part of our imagination to avoid ridicule, and in some cases, authoritative punishment like suspension from school or similar. But honing in on the loss of imagination part, our conditioning to associate “girl” with “dress,” (one example in an infinite criterion) causes us to miss out on valuable insights about ourselves, our resourcefulness and our creativity. It’s a bigger loss than I think we realize
While we grapple with the rewiring of our brain to process the aesthetics of “boy in dress,” Edward and his magical imagination have already discovered at least 3 different practical uses for this garment that he’s just thrilled about:
“Mama, watch when I twirl! I can make the dress fly!”
“Mama look! I can pull the dress over my head like a hoodie in case it rains!”
“Mama! Bring me the dress, I wanna play queens and kings!”
Many kids would’ve stopped wearing the dress after hearing “Mira que niña más guapa” every time they walk down the street in it or when his abuela says “ Pero estas mucho más guapo en los shorts que el vestido.”
If we think outside the binary, we can see that Edward is not trying to perform gender in such a way that makes you uncomfortable, he’s simply staying true to his relentless curiosity and commitment to never stop exploring all the things. And he wants ALL the resources to do that. Let’s take a cue from Edward and realize all there is to gain when we don’t tick just one box and allow ourselves to express all the layers in all the ways that feel joyous for us ❤️
